Looking Inward and Spring Cleaning

Why do we like spring cleaning (if we are to say we like any cleaning)? It's because we get a fresh feeling when it's over. We've eliminated the layer of winter, let in the fresh air and feel like it's a whole new place.

Call it a mid-life crisis. Call it what you want but I decided I need to make some changes - personal spring cleaning, so-to-speak. I am making progress in getting my first brand and tattoo. No doubt one of many but that's another post entirely. I have been going to the gym regularly and tried managing what I eat a little better. I am trying to stop myself from biting and mangling my nails. I need to write more and design more.

One of the biggest changes is how I manage my relationships. Most of my life I persued people. I called them. I was the one that maintained the relationship. Not to say everything was one sided but more importantly I feel that I was in people's faces and certainly hard to deal with at times with my opinionated self.

As of now I stop. I am discarding my former relationships and starting over. It doesn't mean I'll never call people. Nor does it mean I won't be right back here in 10 years, maybe even with the same people I called friends. However I think there will be a qualitative difference. I want to spend more time with the people that do call me and new people than with folks that I speak to only occasionally or whom give me a hard time.

I have a small group of people I talk to regularly now. Only two people from my "old friends" made the cut. Again, this doesn't indicate any sort of disinterest in being friends with all of those people. Mainly it better gives them an out. It allows any number of them to think "hmmm, does knowing Don make my life better?" If you're someone that dodges my calls then no worries having to do that again :) No value judgements. No bad feelings (I hope) and no drama.

It takes a bit getting used to. I am going from 30+ people I called once every month or so to basically six people, most of them new and not used to my needing to know them on a level most mothers don't know their own children. :)

PS If your one of the six please bear with me as I find my own peace with this. you don't need to do anything other than tell me when I am getting annoying. I can adjust the "touchy-feely" settings accordingly.

If you are not one of the six (which you kinda know because I don't really call or email you much anymore) you have two choices. You can be all offended and say "fuck you, Don!" and rarely hear from me again except at weddings and funerals. You could say "hmmm, Don was kind of an albatross around my neck" and welcome the change. I'm cool with that. Or you can call me. "Hey, Don. I'm "so and so," wanna do something later?"

Goal: more personal qualitative relationships. If you don't think you can get that from me I no longer want to waste your time.

They are two other relationship categories that 100+ of you fall into - Internet pals and people I visit. People I visit are you lovely folks I hang out with once every few month because your 1 1/2 to 2 hours away. Fret not i m planning on more regular trips to north Jersey, Bethlehem, Delaware, Reading, NYC, Virginia/DC, and Mass.

Everyone else I will see on the forums, events and emails.

I'll let you know if I have any friends after this :)
- Don